Monday 15 June 2015

RULE 5. Don't Play The Victim Card

Taken from my NEW book YOUR LIFE, YOUR RULES...



5. DON’T PLAY THE VICTIM CARD

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of yourself, but define yourself.” ~ Harvey S. Firestone

I wish to recall a conversation I had with an old friend several years ago. It was a particularly difficult period in my life. I was in a deep depression, struggling to cope with an impending bankruptcy, my divorce, and past issues I had failed to address, which were now having a very adverse effect on my well-being.

John, my friend, whom I had not seen for some time, asked me how life was treating me — it was a conversation which I will never forget. It went something like this…

John: “Hi, mate. Long time no see. How’s life treating you?”

Me: “Awful, to be honest, John. Life is crap. Everything is going wrong. I wish I had someone else’s life.”

John: “Swap you!”

Me: “Don’t be daft. You have a great life. You’re loaded — plenty of cash, great house, you’ve even got that villa in Florida. Why on earth would you want to swap me for all my problems?”

John: “I’ve got cancer, mate. I’ve been having treatment for ages.”

What could I say? I was speechless — I felt physically sick. I had made a total fool of myself, wallowed in self-pity, played the victim card.

I never saw my friend again, I can only hope that he made a full recovery, returned to his former glory. I remember the conversation though, as if it were only yesterday. It was a defining moment which helped change my perspective, helped me throw away my victim card. I faced my problems, my issues, and my illness — and beat them, eventually.

I made a full recovery because I refused to let my self-loathing destroy my life. I sought the help of my close friends, a good counsellor, and more importantly, my closest ally…ME!

“I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man with no feet.” ~ Indian Proverb

* Stop feeling sorry for yourself
* There is ALWAYS someone willing to swap
* Face your problems


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